Uncharted Territory

This is uncharted territory. I have never felt less equipped or less prepared. When I was young, I knew what it looked like to be a good daughter, a big sister. And even if I didn't always succeed, I knew what I should be. When I was a young adult, I knew what it meant to be a good student and a good leader for the younger generation. When I was an adult, I thought I knew what I was supposed to do to be a good wife; I knew what was expected of a good employee. Now? Unknown.

What do you do when it all falls apart? What are the steps to surviving the loss of your deepest hope? Who can teach you how to fall in the arms of Jesus? Who has instructions for the day to day after that which is precious has gone?

Now in the absence of security, I realize how flimsy and fleeting my security was. The rules which have defined me are crumbling, and now I sit in the void and listen. I realize I am listening for a to-do list, the safety of knowing in advance what is expected of me. How eager I am to replace the old rules with new ones. But what if that isn't the intention of the One who desires to lay my path? What if it would please Him to close my eyes and lead me by the hand? What if He desires that I would trust? What if this isn't about me knowing what to do? Uncharted.

So I wait for You. Today, Lord, what would you desire today?

Sit here with Me child. Know Me.

How? What are the steps? What is the formula to knowing You?

Be still.